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Originally Posted by roybean
Yes, I've seen this happen. When someone dies people just start doing things for the family. I've seen people actually come to the deceased's home and set up shop. They start cooking, cleaning, washing; others will come by and simply be the designated driver for anyone and everyone. I've seen people come by and just stay to see what needs to be done and try to help get it done.
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This is my experience in the help we give. I made up my friends bedrooms, cleaned house,took care of her and her dog,made food for the people that came by and stayed with her from the night her husband died until two days after the wake. Even picked p the ashes .Just no money giving, although I bought the booze and all the food.
You also need to be there for the person a month and months later as this is when it really hits home. .
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People drop off envelopes with money or gift certificates...the idea is that the family is not suppose to worry or be bothered with anything except their loved one who has passed away.
It's a stressful time and people will do stressed out things in situations like that so it's like everyone wants to keep you calm and cared for. I had a neighbor several yrs. ago whose husband passed away, then her son died, and I met her right the son passed away and I'm not kidding, then her daughter died in a car accident. I think she was in shock because it all happened back to back within months. I cooked for two days for her. I Her husband had a furniture store, but he had been sick a long time(lots of medical bills), so she used the store and some insurance to pay for him; then the son died and it just about exhausted everything she had and when the daughter passed it was rough.
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Such tragedy. Your kindness I am sure meant so much.While I am all for giving and even a gift certificate is fine, I still don't get the money thing though,but I am understanding it more.
Everyone is different,but I feel being there for the person and just sitting with her while she is crying or is silent is better than giving fast money. I am fortunate that when my brother died people were there for me,but no money or gift certificates were left, just lots of plants and flowers and food. : )
ILMD