Quote:
Originally Posted by stargazer0725  Which one? It just comes up to the last page of his blog... |
This:
June 1999 -
Please Repeat After Me
From Robert J. Malinak of Houston (Baker & Botts), this trial excerpt that was sent to him by "a credible New York lawyer."
Clerk: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God."
Witness: "I swear by Almighty God."
Clerk: "That the evidence that I give..."
Witness: That's right.
Clerk: Repeat it.
Witness: "Repeat it."
Clerk: No! Repeat what I said.
Witness: What you said when?
Clerk: "That the evidence that I give ..."
Witness: "That the evidence that I give ..."
Clerk: "Shall be the truth and ..."
Witness: It will, and nothing but the truth!
Clerk: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and ...
Witness: I'm not a scholar, you know.
Clerk: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and ..."
Witness: "Shall be the truth and ..."
Clerk: "Nothing ..."
Witness: Okay. (Witness remains silent).
Clerk: No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth ..."
Witness: Yes.
Clerk: Well? Do so.
Witness: You're confusing me.
Clerk: Just say: "Nothing but the truth ..."
Witness: Okay. I understand.
Clerk: Then say it.
Witness: What?
Clerk: "Nothing but the truth ..."
Witness: I WILL say nothing but the truth!
Clerk: Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing - but - the - truth ..."
Witness: What? You mean, like, now?
Clerk: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.
Witness: "Nothing. But. The. Truth."
Clerk: Thank you.
Witness: I'm just not a scholar.
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This had me rolling!
